Saying Goodbye

I remember the first day I set eyes on you and brought you home. The day was desperately overcast and gloomy, but I had no reason to feel this storm in my heart. Standing alongside you with a tenable hint of pride coursing through my brain, I knew that you would be perfect… that you would make my house a home, would encourage me in the mornings to wake up and embrace the day. You promised me all of this and at that moment, I loved you. I loved deeper than I had ever felt love before. I never wanted us to be apart. But as the days went on… oh, my love, the weather should have been an indicator of our future.

Things went well for the first few days and you settled in so well- seeing you in the mornings would bring a huge smile to my face. You were perfectly formed and delightful: I had never seen one as beautiful as you. I knew that this would be the first day of the rest of my life, and I looked forward to waking up each morning to the sounds of your boisterous but melodic singing. But then it began… you started making these noises when I wasn’t expecting it. You’d start squawking in my general direction at the wrong time, and I would strike you to the floor with fury. You made me hit you. Uncontrollably shaking, part with horror at what I had done, and part with an overwhelming sense of strength and enjoyment, I would yell at you: ‘This is lunchtime, y’know?! Shut up when I’m eating my dinner!’

From that day the unconscious attacks began. There must have been some deep-rooted inner hatred inside me, for me to be constantly trying to destroy you. You always bravely withstood my actions- knocking you down daily, unconsciously whacking you during my sleep nightly. Sometimes I’d even go as far as to throw water or Fanta over you, and then go on to complain that you’d ingested some of my Fanta. You bitch! Yet you’d still tick along. It was admirable, really. It wasn’t that  I meant to hurt you, it was just that you always seemed to be wailing at me in the most inappropriate moments. And I just couldn’t stop myself.

I’d push you over at night and you’d stay on the floor all evening until I woke up and stood on you in the mornings. I’d gaze down at your glassy and tired face saying only, ‘Why?’. Then you stopped talking altogether. Sometimes you’d throw yourself into things. Sometimes I’d try to stop you, and sometimes I wouldn’t. Our relationship had been lasting, but treacherous. Both of us knew our time was coming to an end. Then one fateful day came the final fall. I ran to find you bleeding out over the carpet, your inner parts spread around the bedroom. A broken dream of days gone by, your tiny head smashed into the flooring. Despite myself I couldn’t help but shed a tear. We had spent many years together. Today, you had made your own end. And who the Hell was going to clean this up?

And now as I commit you to the earth in a sort of makeshift grave because I couldn’t be bothered to arrange anything proper, I recall all these fond memories. Though we had our differences I realise now that you were just hopeless, something like me: weathered and broken, waiting to be buried in the garden. It seemed that I had whacked you once too often and you could not take it anymore. I had mistreated you, but it pulls on my heart to know that I won’t see your little face when I wake up in the mornings anymore. I have to say goodbye now and it hurts… it is as though I have lost a friend. One who was very dear to me, and I wish that I had shown you this affection when you were still here to feel it.

But I suppose it’s not all that bad… I can get another replacement alarm clock from the shop after work tomorrow.

28 thoughts on “Saying Goodbye

  1. I’ve been reading through your comments after having read your excellent-as-usual story (the anti-hero of which I guessed some way in) and trying to think of something cute to say that involved luminous hands. But I can’t. So I won’t. ;)


  2. This was great! I guessed alarm clock about halfway, which is okay because then I was reading excitedly the rest of the way to find out if I was right. Good job with the riddle!


  3. I had this picture of a cat in my head which quickly morphed into a vibrating pair of slippers in my head as I read. ..vibrating animal sllippers with ticking parts, and bleeding vaseline. :)

    big smiles too. loved it.


    1. Yeah. You got me emotionally involved.

      Whilst I guessed that it wasn’t actually going to be about anything living, I couldn’t actually shake off the fact that it sounded as if you were abusing a child or maybe an animal.

      And then POW! you just totally discard the object I was starting to feel sorry for.

      Which is actually a good thing from a writing point of view.


    2. I love animals too much to write about harming one of them! Although I did write ‘Smelly the Goat’… but that’s perhaps the exception. It was always set up to be one of those gory endings.

      But no, I’d never harm an animal or child, figuratively or otherwise. If I ever won the lottery I’d buy a llama farm and spend all of my days running round the fields like some kind of demented badger. I’d be so happy that all of my dark stories would melt away… so I have to keep abusing alarm clocks, just to keep the insanity rolling ;)


  4. You should have let the pieces just lie about on the floor like that so the new one knows not to fuck around and scream when it’s not time.


  5. Of course, I thought it was a parrot, can we get a parrot, please please please can we get a parrot?

    I used to buy watches that were cheap digital watches because the more expensive ones would break just as quickly, and they’d have this stupid feature where if you would somehow accidentally touch 2 buttons at once during the day, the alarm feature would be activated. So at (always it seemed) 4 in the morning the damn thing would start chirping. So I learned to always reset the alarm function to 12 noon, in case it did that. I figured, no matter what kind of night it had been, I’d be awake by noon. Now i buy old-fashioned watches with a clock face.

    Great story, as usual.


    1. I’m actually terrified of birds! Pigeons, anyway. Maybe parrots wouldn’t be so fear-inspiring. ALRIGHT, we can get a parrot. But only if we can call it Mildred. That way it doesn’t sound like such a threat.

      I didn’t even realise that the story sounded like I was talking about a bird until all of these comments… that’s definitely some genuine deep-rooted hatred going on right there!


    2. Too funny, because:
      1. I actually HATE most birds, call them rats with wings, because they poop everywhere and most don’t even sing worth a crap, just chirp ENDLESSLY. I like eagles and hawks because they soar, doves have a beautiful sad song, but otherwise, yuk.
      2. If I ever do date again, if the woman had an indoor bird, that would almost be a dealbreaker. Almost.
      3. My mom was Mildred, the sweetest woman who ever lived, and she would be honored to have a friendly creature named after her. Even a bird.


  6. lol, maken us care about inanimate objects, eh… Suddenly I feel sad about all the Alarm Clocks I’ve left behind… The one’s at the very… very… very bottom of my closet…

    Left wondering if I’ll ever smack them over and over and over again… Oh how I loved the Snooze, lol

    Beautifully Written, eloquent as usual… It drew me right in, and deeply at that…

    At first I thought maybe a bird, but then maybe a Grand Father Clock, lol

    I loved it, and as usual it leaves me wanting more…

    I have this memory of when I bought three identical clocks, because one wasn’t enough anymore… I had made this great exit from “Corporate America”, and ended up back in it again because I needed the money, lol

    So I bought three identical clocks so when I’d hit snooze the 2nd one would shortly go off, hit snooze on that one, then the third would come on, lol

    It drove me crazy, lol

    Beautiful Anna, just Beautiful



    1. Ha! That’s a nice story about the three clocks, although it must have driven you a bit mad! This alarm clock I got from the shop and it never worked from the first day, but I didn’t have the heart to take it back.


    2. Lol, yeah, somethings feel a big odd to take back… The Three Alarm Clocks did drive me Crazy, I actually was working on Film Making back then, and remember vaguely including them in some Video Shots, it looked a bit Twilight Zone, lol

      And I didn’t last at that job, I was doing well, but by then I was just fried on Office Jobs in general, and ended up getting a Job as a Clerk in a Health Food Market… I actually loved that job, the other guy who worked there with me, as it was just the two of us on the Night Shift, would play his Collection of Jazz and Blues all night long over the Speakers.

      Something that simply wouldn’t happen in an Office Job, lol… It was a Special time, but yes it paid less, lol



  7. This took me on such an emotional journey, first I thought it was a man, then I thought it was the sheep I made you marry while you were unconscious, then I thought it was a poor birdy only to find out it was a clock! Bravo my crazy insane watery friend! BRAVO!


    1. I’d never hurt the sheep you made me marry! His name is Phil, and while it was sometimes hard at first to try to understand him, after watching numerous episodes of Shaun the Sheep, we seem to have formed some kind of meaningful bond. May this be a long and happy maaaarriage!

      And, thanks :D


    2. I am glad you were able to form such a bond, he had no choice in the matter either as I basically threatened him with the sheers and with winter coming there was no way he was going to lose his woolly coat!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.