Working Class Women Love Karaoke

Woke up with a stranger’s hand down my trousers and a bar of soap in my pocket. The branflakes had never fulfilled their promises. It left me empty and cold. We had played it until the evening. Eyeballs was an old man’s game. We hadn’t bought enough pink cushions again. Crushed and defeated, we had gone home.

Working class women love karaoke. Ka-ra-oke. A curious proposition. Stockings and wine. White and red faces. An evening of pitch and weeding. They asked me to find the fish, but the drilling on the left side of my brain hadn’t gone away.

Working class women love karaoke. Sat on the floor with a puzzle book playing spot-the-difference and squirting cream into my mouth. Mother said we’d all get pregnant without globes made of glass and spare train parts. I’d always build globes from muffins. Accounted for the broken heart, at least.

Working class women love karaoke. On the way home I tore ribbons of skin from my feet and laughed to myself about the black hole sat on my shoulder. It stole my thoughts and left me in the room with Harry Pollitt. He had never quite appreciated the terror.

Woke up with a stranger’s hand down my trousers and a bar of soap in my pocket. Went back to sleep.

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About Anna

Author of the Insanity Aquarium. Current fears include time as a concept, the squishiness of my right eyeball, and not being able to open this jar.
This entry was posted in Darkness and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Working Class Women Love Karaoke

  1. Wonderfully random. Who doesn’t love a lush night of karaoke-ing and waking up with a wandering hand or two?

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  2. Stewie says:

    So… it was a good night, right? That’s the main thing.

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  3. Another unique one! I was sold on “working class women love karoke.”

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  4. Maxim says:

    I am so confused. Black hole? Before you went to Karoke did you go to CERN in France and get some atoms smashed into your shoulder?

    P.S. Love waking up with peoples hands down my pants.

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    • Anna says:

      Maybe. Although I never came back with a baguette, so I’d say overall it was a pretty unsuccessful trip. Black hole and no baguette. Sadness!

      Like

  5. Pete Howorth says:

    This story hurt brain.

    A random hand in your pants? Was it severed? Did you have a lazer belt?

    I’m going for a wee.

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    • Anna says:

      Now that I think about it, I didn’t even bother to check if it was severed! That’s what a hangover does to you.

      Enjoy your weeeeeee!

      Like

    • Pete Howorth says:

      A random reply to your reply so as to not have that dastardly DarkJade over take me in the comments race! :P

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  6. I’ve woken up with my hands down a stranger’s pants. Even at that hour I wasso drunk that I didn’t think to check her pockets for soap.

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    • Anna says:

      There probably was some soap in there! It’s like a new fad, or something. Maybe.

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    • Anne Schilde says:

      Haha, this almost cost me a sip of coffee! I think I’m going to start carrying one of those little shrink-wrapped ones with a print… maybe a seahorse or something.

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  7. Was it fancy soap?

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  8. You’ve convinced me. I’m organising a karaoke party ASAP for Bohemianish me and all of my working class (and maybe lower middle class) buddies.

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  9. darkjade68 says:

    Sooo… Now, this was a tough one, lol… As I often end up Visiting a Dictionary, or at least Wikipedia whilst reading some of your Posts, lol

    Soo, you went to a Bar with a bunch of your Co-Workers, Drank Vodka through your Eyes, did some Karaoke, went home with one of them, and ended up with their hand down your Trousers the morning after? lol

    Pink Cushions, no clue, lol Branflakes, now you ate some Branflakes to help you with the drunkenness, right? lol And it failed miserably

    And yo momma always told you not to do those types of things? or you’ll end up Pregnant, ha… Glass Globes and Train Parts, wow, lol

    Pitch and Weeding, hmm Black Gooey Pitch? Weeding, like Gardening?

    This one was definitely a journey into your mind… However, really deeply in the Right Side I think… Or? Hmm argh, to decode this, I suspect, is Futile, ha

    Sorry for the Broken Heart

    A Very Cool Piece Anna

    DarkJade-

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    • Anna says:

      Well, I wouldn’t take it all literally. Metaphorical branflakes are the best type of branflakes, afterall.

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    • darkjade68 says:

      No worries, I didn’t take it all literal… And I sure hope Branflakes are better Metaphorically than in reality… I mean, they’re ok, lol But mainly, I’m a Cornflakes man, ha With Banana… And when I was a kid, Peanut Butter Captain Crunch, Fruit Loops and mainly Wheaties, lol

      DarkJade-

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  10. Anne Schilde says:

    I actually woke up with a stranger’s hand down my pants once and I went back to sleep too. …okay, well I knew who he was, but that just made it even stranger. Glass globes are over-rated. You can’t get pregnant with a bar of soap in your pocket anyway.

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    • Anna says:

      That’s very true, actually. If only more people would carry bars of soap in their pockets, we’d finally be able to put Jeremy Kyle out of a job.

      Like

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