The Nature of the Obsessive Personality

‘The ones that stick are the ones that stay’, you had said, the shadows combing through your hair at the height of midnight. How delightfully mediocre, I had thought, though it was true, of course. I held your hand and looked into your eyes, imagining our lives together, sipping tea and making love on a Wednesday.

My mind would formulate such exceptional thoughts that would push the red gunge around my body at an accelerated pace, yet as soon as they had come, they would be gone. You would smile and nod at me as I fell about on the floor, consumed by brilliance, but your sharp disinterest resting on the back of my head would prevent me from weeping my creative grief into your mouth, the mindless stories you had swallowed a thousand times before.

Something had stayed, however, floating at the back of my mind- a thought about you. It had survived amongst the explosions of haircuts, and tattoos which had never graced my skin. Ideas erupted like fires down my spine, leaving my bones as ash, exhausted from the short-lived flames of passion. Pictures never taken, cutlery never purchased; dreams that died in the electrical pulses of the synapse, dulled by the crushing distance between fantasy and tedium. Nothing could stick like my thought of you. It had existed since the day we had first met, today it would be realised.

I called you upstairs, wearing the Sesame Street lingerie I had never really liked. I looped the hoover pipe over your neck and pushed you down the stairs. As you struggled to breathe, I tried to remember the technical name of the hoover pipe, but failed miserably. Not that it mattered, it was a decent method of strangulation and was serving its purpose. I stood over you and poured vinegar in your eyes until they started bleeding, and then made them pop with a satisfying noise by prodding them gently with a wooden spoon. You weren’t quite dead so I began to tear open your stomach with my hands, removing the contents of your stomach and forcing it all down your throat with the extra glaze of your stomach acid. Delicious, I’m sure. The gurgling noise which came from your mouth more than made up for the mess on the carpet. I turned on the hoover and watched as the vibrating tube gradually blocked off your windpipe, before suddenly deciding on the type of cutlery I was going to buy.

‘The ones that stick are the ones that stay’, you had said.

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About Anna

Author of the Insanity Aquarium. Current fears include time as a concept, the squishiness of my right eyeball, and not being able to open this jar.
This entry was posted in Humour and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to The Nature of the Obsessive Personality

  1. Val says:

    Er…. would you accept ‘yuk!’ or ‘ewwwwwwww!’ as a compliment?

    Like

  2. The denoument disemboweling reminded me of the end of Stephen King’s “The Running Man” (the story, NOT the film) because of similar intestinal gick, but that paragraph about what floats about in her mind is impressively well-written. It gives her viable justification for action to me.

    Like

  3. That’s why I own a Dyson.

    Like

    • Anna says:

      We used to have a Henry Hoover at my second house at University. He was fun, but he did always look at me like he wanted to suck out my eyeballs.

      Like

  4. Anne Schilde says:

    Haha, tell me they were Oscar the Grouch undies. :) I had a pair of those.

    I had this thought that “removing the contents of your stomach and forcing it all down your throat” might just be the most perfect vicious cycle ever written!

    Like

    • Anna says:

      Ah… the glory of the vicious cycle! I wouldn’t mind it myself if it was mostly made up of cake, even cake covered in stomach acid is still cake :D

      Like

  5. Pete Howorth says:

    Dis b summer dat fiddy shaydes of gray shit! :D

    I love it! <3

    Like

    • Anna says:

      I can’t say I have read that book or have any particular desire to do so… I’ll just have to take your word for it, Pete, you horny little pervert, you :D

      Like

    • Pete Howorth says:

      :O I’ve not read it! I prefer visual porn rather than mental porn and even then I’m sure I could come up with something more sick and sadistic than what’s written in there. I scare myself sometimes.

      Like

  6. I will never look at my Sesame street nightwear the same ever again… ;)

    Like

    • Anna says:

      I do actually have some Cookie Monster pyjamas that I love, I panic if I spill tea on them, never mind the beloved’s innards!

      Like

  7. darkjade68 says:

    Lol, Brilliant

    Ah, Love, ain’t it Grand, Lol

    DarkJade-

    Like

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