My eloquence slips when I open my mouth, and when the waiting room colour coordination dies a small death, when I try to paste sentences together in non-audible word format. That thing. Writing. That most beautiful thing with octopus tentacles, and padlocks to the deeper suction recesses. The automated screen had acknowledged my visit, much as the receptionists acknowledged common patient complaints by attaching a large laminated sheet of paper to the notice board reading DUE TO PATIENT SAFETY WE WILL NOT BE INSTALLING A WATER DISPENSER.

The reason for my visit was headspace primarily, with small explosions of violent twitching and violet violets. I tried to describe the general malaise associated with being alive and made my way home with mostly nothing, save for a hilarious leaflet on how sex is exercise, and diabetics should eat lots of chips before engaging in such dreadful activities. I later lost the leaflet trying to impress a stranger on a train filled with diabetics and chips, but the otherwise totality of nothing left my bloodstream empty, and had my intestines burst from my mouth as they had when an unctuous adolescent screamed a single sentence into my face. Grabbing me by the lapels and pushing my knees to the concrete outside of Primark, he might have been discontented by the nationwide lack of chips, to be fairrrr.

Because it was intentional, attention-seeking, nonchalant, metaphysical. Widespread by choice and not circumstance, painless and controllable, Polyfilla injected into your gums for the purposes of friendship and fashionable hysteria. My vision swam at the regrettable pastel green hue of the walls and ceiling. Foetal, I laughed at your waist, and choked my intestines back into my stomach until I could taste blood and vomit, acidic and sweet, at the back of my throat. I bet you cut yourself. Eloquence personified.


7 thoughts on “IBYCY

  1. I pushed it carefully into my left wrist and pulled it in one long slow stroke up the inside of my forearm. It didn’t hurt. It felt warm, almost hot. Blood rushed out all over, so fast and so much! I put the razor down and caught some in my other hand. Then I tipped my cupped hand to let little drops of it fall into the tub one at a time. The droplets burst like magic into pretty flowers before dissipating in the water. It reminded me of fireworks lighting up the night sky.


    1. I received the notification for this comment at work and the whole day through I’ve been thinking of nothing else but how lucky I am to have you in my life.


    1. I’mma make you a belt out of paperclips. They won’t be laughing when you can fasten their paper documents together in style.


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