I realised that I didn’t look out of the train window anymore, even when the contest for seats subsided during the holidays, and infact my ability to recognise my location by the sway of the tracks was indeed dismal but particularly helpful. The dark mornings and evenings had long passed, and yet the risk of catching the sky- dazzling blue, pink and orange liquid- gave an unbearable transitory glimpse into something which vaguely resembled peace, so I kept typing into my computer [I’m alright. It’s the deadline for Chair’s Actions today, so naturally no-one is adhering to it and I’m fucking stressed. How are you?]. There was a passage in a book I couldn’t recall which might have helped, and I couldn’t read it again- had it ever existed at all- because I didn’t have the time, and nonetheless the book itself was on the other side of town, sandwiched between other books in a box, between other boxes stacked neatly upon each other, inside a rented room at the storage facility – a type of suspended animation I couldn’t afford to resume. There would be other passages in other books that I wouldn’t read again or at all, because of the weather, or because I was busy, or because I would be dead in the future [I hope you are well. I have compiled a short list of outstanding queries regarding the project which I hope you are able to review/answer, if it isn’t too onerous]. Continue reading “Seasons”



In the intermission of the night’s performance, a swirling miasma of electricity and murder, I awoke to find a creature stood in the middle of my room; the expanse of its limbs wrapped in each corner of the ceiling. It shook the very foundations of the house as its body pulsated under the faint light of the moon- impossibly long, deep gashes of red rode down the length of its auburn arms, like the bark of a rotting tree. It grinned at me, a grim dripping smile extending downwards, which smothered me from the centre of the room. Green and pink fantasies wrapped around my mind as I slipped slowly towards the trembling and as I grew nearer the yellows of the creature’s eyes forced my own eyes to remain open, irreconcilably drawn to the only source of light amongst the darkness of the room. My body shook and my blood ran frenzied to my brain, causing me to become sickeningly dizzy. I was now face to face with the creature and could feel its breath upon my shoulders. I could not close my eyes. Continue reading “Earthquake”

The Trains

Tonight before she shuts her eyes and goes to sleep, she will leave the window of her bedroom open as she does every night, so as to listen to the passing of the trains. Neither the smoke from the cigarettes of her neighbours, nor the noise of the sirens that make their way from the main road and into her lap could ever compare to the sound of the trains. Their lurch, the sound of metal upon metal, so distant and yet so suffusing… carrying people to the very ends of the world. She can see hills in the distance from her window, but she can never reach them. They disappear into everything once she steps outside: they can only ever exist when she stands here. It is here the trains pass; it is here her stomach turns to be. Continue reading “The Trains”